Why in the world would I shut down a website that brings so much satisfaction to people who actually have a sense of humor? You've got to say, "I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not going to put up with these overly sensitive morons who can't take a joke anymore". I haven't decided to keep T-Shirt Hell going because of the tens of thousands of supportive emails we received or because of the press and sales we generated over the last 3 weeks (nearly 100,000 shirts sold). I know a lot of our fans are stingy motherfuckers and need to be "inspired" to get off their fat asses to spend money in ways that truly enhance lives and bring joy to the world. Let's call it my own personal stimulus package (besides my normal, daily "personal stimulus" if you know what I'm sayin). I didn't buy any shirts because I'm a pussy, but I spread the word of your approaching demise and hopefully some of those fuckers bought something. glad your staying open fuck the haters I dont always agree with some shirts but I'm not going to buy them Im going to buy the ones I think are fukin funny freedom of speech and owning a gun two things we take for ya gay robotno offense but duh... Better hope your starving country doesn't fuck itself off into another infinite financial shithole again... Now i am slightly pissed off of your way of making heaps of people buy your shirts in this way but i am way more happy that you are back.... Oh well, at least I can keep buying shit for my seven month old son when he grows out of the two that I've already got for him. HAD TO DELETE MY FULL ADDRESS, don't want my being mum killed... Here's my mail if you wanna rant at some one else who also doesn't give a fuck... Do you really think I would hang it all up because of hate mail? I guess I should have named it 'T-Shirt Cunt Rape Faggot Nigger', so less of you fuckers would have taken the bait. Sometimes you need to kick your loved ones in the assholes to get them to satisfy their need for awesome t-shirts (and to fill my bank account). I look foward to your new shirts, no longer as a lurker, but as a customer. ^_^ I think this was a brilliant marketing strategy. That reminds me: I need you to be shot repeatedly on Feb 17, 2009 by a lone Caucasian Catholic...well, I don't remember it all; it's on my contest submission, though. But it needs to be after midnight tonight and before midnight tomorrow night, so you think you can get a start on that for me? I am however FUCKING ECSTATIC that you guys are staying in business.today i woke up and thought "shit, today's the last day to buy a shirt from them...guess i'll never own a i should be in the kitchen shirt" BUT you guys made my life today even thought i did have to suffer with my sad shirt-less thoughts. I kind of thought it could b a publicity stunt from the start but of course i still felt a bit sad if it was really true. The only shitty part is that I kinda look like a cunt now for telling my friends to hurry the fuck up and order shit. and if you really wanna be a twat you can post my details so the mongy, colour blind and smurf fuvking mooses can have a rant at someone else,...Did you know that 9 out of 10 people who wear T-Shirt Hell shirts actually increase their job security, with 6 of those people getting substantial raises? At least i will have the most kick ass bumb apparel of all the other hobos! I wasted a perfectly good gift certificate on a t that i didnt even like that fucking much because of the time crunch!! But all my shirts look weird since there is only one titty underneath. Fuck all of the ignorant cunts who don't get good humor (or bad...)! any one who is a big enough douche to sell these shirts would be douche enough to sell out... or prank the tshirthell world THANK YOU..guys are the best. i cant wait to tell my right wing family how i finally decided to spend my fistmas money from them. i would have been laid off until late march instead of mid february), and then i finally end my evening by finding out that the only place that has come anywhere near offending me(keep trying, and i'll keep laughing) over the past 15 years is not shutting down. smiling has seemed a lost art to me lately, and you guys just gave me my largest grin of the week....far.Did you realize that owning one or more T-Shirt Hell products actually raises the value of your 401k by a minimum of 25%? enjoy my money now chowderheads because i'm not buying any more shirts from you! Now I don't have to cash in my 401k and get a second mortgage to buy the last great shirt you make. i anticipate your future, and can hardly wait to see what levels you will take your humor to next. That was a pretty genius move if i may say so myself. If i am ever having a bad day your shirts put a shit eating grin on my face.
Yet two days later my friend gave me some shit for wanting to buy some mush over an expensive tshirt because 'I'd never be able to get one again'. I just like wasted five million characters on you bastards that have way too much mail already cause its effin almost 7 am and I have been having one of my stupid insomnia periods. as mad as i am at you fuckheads right now, i have to admit it was a purdy good joke and i cant be too mad cause i didn't decide to purchase shit and yer sticking around. In fact, my kids & other parents enjoy the smart remarks that other parents have to say about the adorable shirts we buy our children from there, such as why would you let your kids where shirts with the word ass on it. These Tshirts are great and I KNOW ALL IN GOOD FUN! May the atom bomb fuck Sunshine Megatron up the ass!!!! but one sure thing is no matter how fucked my day is, and no matter what miserable prick tries to make my miserable life even more miserable.... i went and had unprotected sex with a gay bovine with mad cow disease and now you say you're staying in business. First off, it was completely packed with "Starbucks" people. There was the laptop douche, the old bearded douche reading some book about the economy, and the obligatory hippie douche.
But the main point I wanted to reiterate is that there is no hatred/intention behind what we do. I just don't care anymore..am willing to risk my life (and you can even try to win ,000 by guessing when and how I get murdered) for the cause. Oh, I don't fucking know...be allowed to make retarded jokes without people taking them so seriously? I haven't bought a shirt in four years, but I had been eyeing a couple. And you fuckers practically ripped the cash out of my anus (convenient and pleasurable for me, annoying for the recipient). You know, I was a tad offended, but then I realized that they're just words. I don't think I could possibly respect you any more than I do right now... I bought from you before and intended to buy from you again... I would've hated for my favorite shirt site to close and take away my chances to further fuck with the public with shirts that make the real people laugh and the punks try to fight me. Keep pissing people off, it makes me and thousands of others laugh!! I was not asking for the school shootings art to sell them... Poor little bastard hasnt had a decent meal in ages so I could afford to get smoe shirts. i would probably crap myself if i saw their expressionsi fucking love it. So good shit in there short novel coming up HELL FUCKING YEAH!!! I freaked out and was broke so I could only buy two.
To have the right to take something that has been a source of pain for so many and to turn it upside down and into a preposterous joke on a t-shirt? Since, I'm taking a moment to be genuine (yup, I actually just wrote that out), I want to thank all the people who sent us positive emails over the last 3 weeks. I thought that I was pissed for the deception, but being a Marketing major and a connoisseur of fine jokes, this may in fact be one of the most genius/side-splitting marketing strategies ever. Words are powerless unless you let them affect you. That is, until you lied just so I will buy a few more shirts along with my friends - also huge fans of yours, by the way, which I persuaded to join in, thinking you were going out of business. As soon as I get my next pay, I'm spending as much as I can of it on here. Fuckin' Great, I have been buying last minute shirts for my friend's and finally bought my own, BAAAAA means NOOOOOOOOO, hey I live in New Mexico where the men are men and the sheep are really gettin' fucked everyday! My best friend in ichigan is the OLY person I know who would were the shirt 'Slaves gets shit done'. I just wanted to make a run of 20 shirts for friends. Idea for a shirt (dedicated to the people who want to kill you): "In my neighborhood, the language of social justice involves a baseball bat and ski mask. If you ever go "out of business" I am going to anally harass "decimate" everyone you know. I do own several of your shirts and I was annoyed that you were giving up, but I did convince some of my friends to buy shirts. BTW careful with the murdered contest...these days someone might kill you just to get the money It's nice to see my baby sacrifices paid off. you made me realize my dream of owning the Jesus Did it for the Chicks thing. btw i spent the money i was saving for a laptop on shirts. I am so God Damned glad you aren't going any Fucking where! We love it all and want many more years of pissing off the losers of this miserable mud ball planet!!! My girlfriend broke up with me because I was so upset and she told me I was immature and needed to start buying clothes from the mall. I bought a gram of coke and am reading Stephen King. You guys are some greedy fucking tards to do all of this just to sell some t-shirts. I'm glad I called your bullshit and didn't purchase anything. Who ever typed that I thought you'd all become an heros over hate mail?
My current employees are not worried about this kind of thing (thank the economy? If it were fucking April, I would have believed it was possibly a joke. Best of luck and if someone actually does murder you, I hope I am right! You aids infested cock sucking baby beating anal eating nut busting fuck bags....... I totally ordered a shirt thinking that i'd never get a chance again... Although, I am happy I'll be able to buy more shirts later... me..fucking figure....anyhow, I wasn't able to buy anything and was seriously upset as all hell because of it... (Thank christ, I've still got a chance to buy the 'I Support Single Moms' T-Shirt for my new boyfriend. I don't want to tell ALL my dirty secrets....) So your tee costs me . And I was sad, because I didn't find the "Support My Troop"-Sperm-T-Shirt. I totally believed that you would be asshole enough to shut down a thriving business just because you wanted to. I'm just glad I used that stolen credit card to order my shirt. You are by far the best shirt website on earth and I am very pleased to know you are not closing down. I believe I brought you three customers or so by crying my heart out over the potential loss of the website that has been keeping me entertained for years now. Now unpack those bags you never left with and get your asses in gear! You do a lot for the freedom of speech and telling people to "light up". Sunshine, you are proof that you don't have to have morals to have DAMN good business ethics. I almost framed my receipt from my last order so i could remember you guys...cause i know that one day I will proably be ashamed of all the shirts i have, or not. Robbielove the shirts(and the stunt) fucking so glad you guys aren't shutting up shop. I bought them with a tear in my eye and a heavy heart thinking... But with some therapy we might make this relationship work after all. If I have to be "had" the only man who can "have" me would be S. The Jesus Blog goes way too far, It impressed me and me fall more in love with this site and I challenge you to go to an even more offensive level. you scared the fuckin shit outta me..i'd rather that than see you guys go. People are guliable ass wads and will believe anything! I spent my meth money for that day to buy these shirts. I should have known that anyone names Sunshine was a devious bitch. I kind of figured something was up, but on the off chance that it wasn't I bought like 10 shirts that I'd been wanting for a while. I spend what little extra I have, and you prove that your full of shit. To bad they are owned by someone the has to lie to would've thought in the time it takes a back-breaking american to clock out from work you could have rallied the internets together for a hell-inspired koombayah. after carefully reading the entirety of the responses so far and graphing certain "patterns" and symbolic symbolism i see exactly what's going on here. I bought four shirts out of fear and now I am too happy your staying to be pissed about it. *cums all over the monitor* Ah fuck, hold on a second guys *licks it off* There we go. I was one of the positive emails you got when I thought this shit was closing. you clearly were planning on shutting the site down because you had a rough come down of a three month binder on coke, exctacy, lsd, shrooms, pcp and obviously meth. Way to prove your point and wake up the silent (perverted) majority! Now go out and help the economy by actually snorting some cocaine off a hooker's ass. I bought like 9 shirts last week, and I will buy more... I thought it could've been true since Torsopants was fucked too. Ive enjoyed your site for years, and do own some of your masterpieces. cheap joke, but at least all that participated got a lil' discount...if it was a shady sales ploy... You are an excellent liar, are you gunning for a government position? ~Claudia When I heard of the "closing" I sent a comment that maybe it was like faking your death to see how people would act at your funeral. For, you are the one who gave hepatitis to the sea. (maybe I'll even buy a shirt now,,,)Yew fuckin beyotch! I can rest peacefully now, thank you and your employees that are willing to put up with all those idiots that can't take a fucking joke. you a truly hilarious and definitly a great entrepenueur ( or however you spell it ) saying your leaving and then not jsut to piss of some people hoping you were leaving. The same people who hate this site stop giving me hours at work.... My dumb ass dumped my load to buy 5 shirts to stimulate you and all I get is a thank you and a "were still open" t-shirt. So all in all, a few words will sum it up very well: Fuck you. Granted they are to real celebs what Crystal Pepsi was to soda, but it still helps if Felicia Day bought at least one May The Horse Be With You shirt. But now you not leaving, i think i'll still send it... your loyal and humbled servant Bhusta Nutzthis may sound rather mundane campared to other e-mails, but it's a good thing that you are not closing, because i was ready to find out how many of your t-shirts would fit up your ass if you did. I just peed myself again.....well, it still feels warm. What the hell am I paying a whore for if she's not going to remove my cock rings and clean up a little afterward? I can use any woman to get my nut; I pay you for that little bit of extra effort.
You got me, I considered the thought that this was a joke, but didnt think you were a big enough douche to pull it off; apparently you are. I'm one of the ones that thought you actually caved to all the pressure. Damn you really got me with this one :) But what the hell,would have ordered anyway so the 10% off is great. I FUCKING LOVE YOU GUYS LIKE A FAT KID LOVES EATING CAKE ..... You guys just turned my shitty as fuck mood around. I'm pissed that I fell for it because I should've known better but totally relieved. When I can afford it after getting paid for stripping for schoolboys, of course...)OK, yes I AM bitter because they fuck you at the border for DUTIES (WTF kind of duty do I have to suffer through to make an EXTRA ? After this I read the good nows, called "bad news" ;) Now I am very happy to know that there is a future life with T-Shirt-Hell – and perhaps a chance to get this shirt in the future. goddamn you nigger, i thought you were closing for good! Good to see the most awesome tshirt company is staying in business. I even bought a shirt since I thought it was my last chance. Yay =D Can't wait to receive my shirts :) I am uncertain whether I am in the mood for an angry fuck or just a release the tension fuck right now. Are we happy that you are actually not giving in to the shitload? It's time to make the world a not so make-me-want-to-commit-suicide-with-a-polar-bear kind of place. Everything does not need to be serious and you that nobody is allowed to censor anybody. while your in the business of bringing back shirts would love to get my hands on the easy like sunday morning one and my chemical romance. how aboout a 15-20% off coupon sent to members to show your love & appreciation! By the way, where's the "I Swear I Didn't Know She Was 3" shirt. Usually I give my wife a list of the ones I like and she buys me a couple for Christmas or my birthday. you still better stay open til i get my stimulus check. The assholes in DC should put you in charge of the economy you sweet motherfucker you! I kept saying to myself that this sounds like a mother fucking PR-stunt! If I wasn't so fucking broke I would have bought some shirts, just to be on the safe side : PYes! So on this come down you had an epiphany that closing TShirt Hell would be a sweet thing to do. What the fuck am I supposed to do with all this Kool-Aid and Cyanide now?! at least those motherfuckers will actually spend the money here rather then send them over to china. I've only bought shirts from TShirt hell, I've tried other sites but they short shipped me and fucked me around... CONGRATS, you had the whole world going..I got my "1000's of my potential children died on your daughters face last nite" TORSO PANTS. There aren't enough bottles of mouthwash, in the world, to cover the stinch of your cock-suckery. I suspected THIS after your bullshit One-Cent-Sale ruse. if you dont like this site or the t-shirts they produce... making some mad sales and gettin' the cash the way you need to, anyone who slanders abotu you now can just basically fuck off cause they're just jealous your smarter then they are. so i didn't have money to stock pile t shirts like i wanted... usually the highlight of my week is wearing your t-shirt to the local pub and see if 1) someone buys me a beer or 2)if i have to use my cherished mug as a getaway projectile. I wondered why a "going out of business" sale was only 10% off... Oh, and by the way, Sunshine Megatron is my sex slave, so HANDS OFF MOTHERFUCKERS!! Take off my cock rings, wipe off the shaft and balls, and just because I asked you to shove your panties in my mouth doesn't mean I want them there in the morning.
To customers who can't stand this ever-expanding, politically correct asylum we are imprisoned in? I want you to get up right now, sit up, go to your windows, open them and stick your head out and yell - "FUCK YOU IF YOU CAN'T TAKE A JOKE! Then we'll figure out what to do about the depression and the assholes who look at you funny. In 3 weeks, I've done EXACTLY what is needed to stimulate any economy.that is to get people to open their wallets. Hats off to you guys for the great idea, good luck in the future, and as soon as you make a super sweet 80s era half-shirt with a blonde in a bikini with teased up hair that says "T&A Patrol" on it, I'm there! I was wondering what I would do for cum rags when I'm sucking my father's cock. and by "bless" I mean rim heavily and lick your navel from the inside! I had to sell my left titty to afford the shirts I had to have. it was your reasons for quitting that gave it away... Hook, Line, Sinker, Bought a bunch of fuct shirts cuz I thought I would never see them again. [email protected]llmfao, now who says mondays can't be good??